1- If you are a car salesman and at the same time, a singer.
2- If you talk behind your wife with your mother.
3- If you dress up to go to grocery store.
4- If you go to concert, but you never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink and check out girls.
5- If you never wear your wedding ring.
6- If you smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.
7- If you pronounce " Sure ", SHOOR.
8- If your favorite drink is Vodka.
9- If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
10- If you watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for bad programming.
11- If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
12- If you call gas station, Gaz Estation.
13- If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house and car.
14- If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.
15- If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy.
16- If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone and no one ever calls you.
17- If you claim your dad was a very good friend of SHAH.
18- If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW.
19- If you have to shave more than once a day.
20- If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington D.C.
21- If your in-laws come to visit and they never leave.
22- When they ask, "where are you from?" you reply, Italy !!, yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hands.
23- Have Spaghetti with yoghourt using spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg.
24- Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...
25- water in a milk bottle will do just as good.
26- Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice... just in case!.
27- Believe no-one else can make Kabaab Better than us.
28- Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends.
29- Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug.
30- Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house.
31- Beat the hell out of them (dogs) when they come in, then suddenly remember they are " Najess " and go and wash out your hands 7 times with soap and say, "Pedar Sag Aslan Aadam nemeesheh!!!!
32- Complain about everybody's accent, but your self¢s
33- If you wear a luxury ROLEX watch and you are always LATE at appointments, meetings and dates.
34- If you have been living in "Kharej" for 25 years and people still call you "Sarhang".
35- If you eat McDonald with "Somagh" and your son eats "Chelo-Kebab" with Ketch-up.
36- If you have been living 25 years in CANADA , yet not bought a house, because you still think: "Hanooz maloom nist inja bemoonim ya na"
37- If you have bought shares of YAHOO company because you want to show you are "Darvish-maslak". (Ya, Hoo!)
38- If you run a business and wish Iranian come to you, but at the same time strongly believe that "Ba Irooni moameleh nemikonam chon hamashon kolah-bardar va sharlatanan va mikhan sare adam kolah bezaran"
39- If you talk about a 25-30 years old car and still say "Kehili tamiz - Fanni saalem"
40- If you finish this Email and think "That was right, All Iranian are like this. and repeat to yourself: "Shokre khoda man yeki injori nistam"
